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Slaying Your Negative ThoughtsI wonder how many of us live pretty decent lives, yet still find ourselves complaining and being negative.
Why do our minds drift to what we don’t like?
Quick recap from last week:
We learned that our minds are a battlefield — and most of life’s battles are won or lost there.
The life we live is largely the result of the thoughts we think.
What comes into your mind tends to come out in your life.
If your mind is negative, it’s almost impossible to live a positive life.
(It’s like eating KFC and expecting abs — mate, not happening.)
Today, as we continue Mind Gremlins, we’re chatting about slaying negative thoughts.
Let’s look at a key Scripture:
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds…
We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
— 2 Corinthians 10:3–5
A stronghold is a fortress of wrong patterns in our thinking — a lie that holds us hostage.
Your Brain’s Train TracksGod created our minds to be incredibly powerful.
Every time you think a thought, you create a neural pathway.
The more you think it, the easier it is to think again.
Your brain’s laying train tracks — but sometimes life has built a high-speed line straight to a station called Anxiety, Rejection, or Negative Thinking.
Neuroscience calls this a cognitive bias — a mental filter or framework, a mistake in reasoning shaped by experiences or preferences.
And your filter shapes how you see life — often inaccurately.
ExamplesIf you were hurt in a relationship by an abusive man, you may see all men through that pain.
You’ll make inaccurate judgments about the men in your world — because of that filter.
Or if you grew up with a family saying, “Wealthy people are evil,” you’ll carry that filter.
Then when you get older and more financially successful, that filter triggers shame.
You feel weird about your own success.
(You’re not a supervillain for buying fresh avocados. You can drive a nice car.)
Your filter shapes your life.
But if you change the filter, you change the feel.
Just like a photo filter changes how a picture feels, your mental filter changes how life feels.
Our brains can become pre-wired to think a certain way about a certain situation.
You might be adamant that you’re right — but actually reading it dangerously wrong.
(Ever argued confidently, everyone disagreed, and then you realised you were passionately wrong? Embarrassing.)
Maybe all you can see is people not liking or accepting you — when actually, God has brought people into your life who care deeply about you.
Maybe all you can see is your kid who needs love — because you never had it.
So you give them love… but in helicopter-parent style.
(What they really need is love plus two chores and a few boundaries — not a TED Talk.)
Cognitive bias is why two people can receive the same feedback and respond totally differently.
It’s not the facts — it’s the filter.
Your boss might give identical feedback to two people.
One gets offended, takes it personally, and spirals:
“You don’t know how valuable I am. You’re such a crap boss.”
Well… your boss!
The other person hears the same feedback and goes:
“Thanks for the tips — this will make me better at my job. Anything else I can work on?”
Same facts. Different filter.
The first person just grew up with overly critical parents and developed a bias toward criticism.
Same Church, Different FilterTwo people can walk into The Lighthouse at the same time.
Same service.
One sees hypocrisy — “Ohh, the pastor’s drinking a beer.”
They hear the music — “It’s all hype.”
They think, This is stupid, I’m never coming back.
The other person experiences the exact same thing and goes,
“This church is amazing! I felt love and acceptance here. I sensed God’s presence, and what was talked about actually helped me. I’m coming back — maybe God brought me here.”
Same facts. Different filter.
(Also, don’t give the pastor who drinks a hard time when there are way more fat pastors out there. The Bible talks way more about gluttony than beer. Just saying.)
Cognitive Bias in CultureThis shows up everywhere — especially politically.
Depending on what news source you read, you can land on completely different opinions.
You can be for the Palestinians or the Israelites, pro-vaccine or anti-vaccine, left or right.
You can read totally different things online that convince you your side is 100 % true and the other is totally wrong.
I know this is dangerous ground — it’s just an example.
I know whatever you believe is completely true and I’m truly uninformed about your truth!
Same facts. Different filter.
Bible Example — The Twelve SpiesNumbers 13–14: Moses sends twelve spies to explore the land.
They all see the same thing — but come back with completely different reports.
It wasn’t the facts that were different; it was the filter.
“We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey!
But the people who live there are powerful…
We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes.”
Then Caleb said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”
Joshua and Caleb said, “The land we passed through is exceedingly good… The Lord is with us. Do not be afraid.”
Two spies saw promise.
Ten saw problems.
Same land, same facts, different filters.
They forgot how God had saved them in the past.
Maybe trauma shaped their lens. We don’t know.
But we do know they couldn’t see God’s promise clearly because of their bias.
Ten out of twelve were negative.
(Not trying to be negative… but that ratio still feels about right when you read the comments section online.)
It’s Not Just the Filter — It’s the FrameYou can’t always change what happens, but you can change how you frame it.
Reframing means creating a new way of seeing a situation by changing its meaning.
Wanaka ExampleYour negative frame might sound like:
“Today will be crap. I’m overwhelmed, overworked, people drive me crazy, no one likes me, I never get invited. I have to go home to my boring husband, talk about boring stuff, watch boring Netflix, have boring sex…”
You’ve framed your day wrong.
Now reframe it:
“I’ve got a lot to do, but God is with me. I’m thankful for my job and the people I work with — even the ones who test my patience. I know God loves me, and I’m going to show up with gratitude. When I get home, I’m going to be thankful I have a best friend to walk through life with — and maybe even surprise him later… in fun ways.”
Same day. Different frame.
You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you frame it.
And people frame God this way too --
“God, I don’t like what’s going on,” instead of, “God, thank You for being here with me in it.”
It’s not the facts; it’s the filter — or the frame.
Reframing ExpectationsMaybe you thought by now you’d be somewhere else in life --
Different relationship, different job, different bank balance, different reputation.
But instead, you’re stuck in the opposite.
You got the degree but not the job.
You had the relationship but it ended.
You wanted to start the business, travel, be out of debt, be the dream parent… but life’s not matching the plan.
That’s when you reframe — just like Paul did.
He longed to preach in Rome — the strategic place to reach the world.
But instead, he got there as a prisoner under house arrest, facing possible execution.
He could’ve framed it negatively.
The Karen Version of the Bible might say,
“What’s happened to me is super crap. I’m done.”
But here’s what he actually wrote:
“What has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel…
It has become clear that I am in chains for Christ…
And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.”
— Philippians 1:12–14
Paul reframed his reality.
Same facts. Different frame. Different fruit.
3 Tools for Slaying a Negative Gremlin
Final ThoughtLet’s go beyond cognitive reframing --
Can I encourage you to let Jesus frame your life?
When you walk with Him, you stop interpreting God through your circumstances,
and you start interpreting your circumstances through God.
You start asking,
“Hey God, what should I think about this?”
“Jesus, how should I see this differently?”
Reframing and filters will take you far.
But Jesus will take you all the way — into the life He designed for you.
If this message has stirred something up in you and you’d like prayer,
please come forward or shoulder-tap one of our leaders after the service.
Why do our minds drift to what we don’t like?
Quick recap from last week:
We learned that our minds are a battlefield — and most of life’s battles are won or lost there.
The life we live is largely the result of the thoughts we think.
What comes into your mind tends to come out in your life.
If your mind is negative, it’s almost impossible to live a positive life.
(It’s like eating KFC and expecting abs — mate, not happening.)
Today, as we continue Mind Gremlins, we’re chatting about slaying negative thoughts.
Let’s look at a key Scripture:
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds…
We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
— 2 Corinthians 10:3–5
A stronghold is a fortress of wrong patterns in our thinking — a lie that holds us hostage.
Your Brain’s Train TracksGod created our minds to be incredibly powerful.
Every time you think a thought, you create a neural pathway.
The more you think it, the easier it is to think again.
Your brain’s laying train tracks — but sometimes life has built a high-speed line straight to a station called Anxiety, Rejection, or Negative Thinking.
Neuroscience calls this a cognitive bias — a mental filter or framework, a mistake in reasoning shaped by experiences or preferences.
And your filter shapes how you see life — often inaccurately.
ExamplesIf you were hurt in a relationship by an abusive man, you may see all men through that pain.
You’ll make inaccurate judgments about the men in your world — because of that filter.
Or if you grew up with a family saying, “Wealthy people are evil,” you’ll carry that filter.
Then when you get older and more financially successful, that filter triggers shame.
You feel weird about your own success.
(You’re not a supervillain for buying fresh avocados. You can drive a nice car.)
Your filter shapes your life.
But if you change the filter, you change the feel.
Just like a photo filter changes how a picture feels, your mental filter changes how life feels.
Our brains can become pre-wired to think a certain way about a certain situation.
You might be adamant that you’re right — but actually reading it dangerously wrong.
(Ever argued confidently, everyone disagreed, and then you realised you were passionately wrong? Embarrassing.)
Maybe all you can see is people not liking or accepting you — when actually, God has brought people into your life who care deeply about you.
Maybe all you can see is your kid who needs love — because you never had it.
So you give them love… but in helicopter-parent style.
(What they really need is love plus two chores and a few boundaries — not a TED Talk.)
Cognitive bias is why two people can receive the same feedback and respond totally differently.
It’s not the facts — it’s the filter.
Your boss might give identical feedback to two people.
One gets offended, takes it personally, and spirals:
“You don’t know how valuable I am. You’re such a crap boss.”
Well… your boss!
The other person hears the same feedback and goes:
“Thanks for the tips — this will make me better at my job. Anything else I can work on?”
Same facts. Different filter.
The first person just grew up with overly critical parents and developed a bias toward criticism.
Same Church, Different FilterTwo people can walk into The Lighthouse at the same time.
Same service.
One sees hypocrisy — “Ohh, the pastor’s drinking a beer.”
They hear the music — “It’s all hype.”
They think, This is stupid, I’m never coming back.
The other person experiences the exact same thing and goes,
“This church is amazing! I felt love and acceptance here. I sensed God’s presence, and what was talked about actually helped me. I’m coming back — maybe God brought me here.”
Same facts. Different filter.
(Also, don’t give the pastor who drinks a hard time when there are way more fat pastors out there. The Bible talks way more about gluttony than beer. Just saying.)
Cognitive Bias in CultureThis shows up everywhere — especially politically.
Depending on what news source you read, you can land on completely different opinions.
You can be for the Palestinians or the Israelites, pro-vaccine or anti-vaccine, left or right.
You can read totally different things online that convince you your side is 100 % true and the other is totally wrong.
I know this is dangerous ground — it’s just an example.
I know whatever you believe is completely true and I’m truly uninformed about your truth!
Same facts. Different filter.
Bible Example — The Twelve SpiesNumbers 13–14: Moses sends twelve spies to explore the land.
They all see the same thing — but come back with completely different reports.
It wasn’t the facts that were different; it was the filter.
“We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey!
But the people who live there are powerful…
We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes.”
Then Caleb said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”
Joshua and Caleb said, “The land we passed through is exceedingly good… The Lord is with us. Do not be afraid.”
Two spies saw promise.
Ten saw problems.
Same land, same facts, different filters.
They forgot how God had saved them in the past.
Maybe trauma shaped their lens. We don’t know.
But we do know they couldn’t see God’s promise clearly because of their bias.
Ten out of twelve were negative.
(Not trying to be negative… but that ratio still feels about right when you read the comments section online.)
It’s Not Just the Filter — It’s the FrameYou can’t always change what happens, but you can change how you frame it.
Reframing means creating a new way of seeing a situation by changing its meaning.
Wanaka ExampleYour negative frame might sound like:
“Today will be crap. I’m overwhelmed, overworked, people drive me crazy, no one likes me, I never get invited. I have to go home to my boring husband, talk about boring stuff, watch boring Netflix, have boring sex…”
You’ve framed your day wrong.
Now reframe it:
“I’ve got a lot to do, but God is with me. I’m thankful for my job and the people I work with — even the ones who test my patience. I know God loves me, and I’m going to show up with gratitude. When I get home, I’m going to be thankful I have a best friend to walk through life with — and maybe even surprise him later… in fun ways.”
Same day. Different frame.
You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you frame it.
And people frame God this way too --
“God, I don’t like what’s going on,” instead of, “God, thank You for being here with me in it.”
It’s not the facts; it’s the filter — or the frame.
Reframing ExpectationsMaybe you thought by now you’d be somewhere else in life --
Different relationship, different job, different bank balance, different reputation.
But instead, you’re stuck in the opposite.
You got the degree but not the job.
You had the relationship but it ended.
You wanted to start the business, travel, be out of debt, be the dream parent… but life’s not matching the plan.
That’s when you reframe — just like Paul did.
He longed to preach in Rome — the strategic place to reach the world.
But instead, he got there as a prisoner under house arrest, facing possible execution.
He could’ve framed it negatively.
The Karen Version of the Bible might say,
“What’s happened to me is super crap. I’m done.”
But here’s what he actually wrote:
“What has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel…
It has become clear that I am in chains for Christ…
And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.”
— Philippians 1:12–14
Paul reframed his reality.
Same facts. Different frame. Different fruit.
3 Tools for Slaying a Negative Gremlin
- Thank God for what didn’t happen.
Missed a bonus? Thank God you didn’t lose your job.
Fender bender? Thank God no one was hurt.
Step back and zoom out — don’t let one category steal your gratitude. - Pre-frame your day.
Decide your frame before you walk into the room.
Expect God’s presence, productivity, and purpose.
Your frame shapes your experience.
(Set the thermostat — don’t just read the weather.) - Look for God’s goodness.
You’ll always find what you’re looking for.
Vultures find dead things. Hummingbirds find sweet things.
Look for where God’s at work — He’s still on the throne, still good, still answering prayer.
Final ThoughtLet’s go beyond cognitive reframing --
Can I encourage you to let Jesus frame your life?
When you walk with Him, you stop interpreting God through your circumstances,
and you start interpreting your circumstances through God.
You start asking,
“Hey God, what should I think about this?”
“Jesus, how should I see this differently?”
Reframing and filters will take you far.
But Jesus will take you all the way — into the life He designed for you.
If this message has stirred something up in you and you’d like prayer,
please come forward or shoulder-tap one of our leaders after the service.